I vow to save them all

 

Jiddu Krishnamurti 1895 - 1986

The most important book I read last year, was definitely a biography of  Jiddu Krishnamurti by Mary Lutyens, freshly published in Finnish in 2024. It is said to be the only official biography. The writer knew Krishnamurti personally over 70 years. 

I have been interested in Krishnamurti for a long time, even though I still have read up on his works very little. It is admirable how he disclaimed the role that was envisioned for him, and began to teach his own truth. [Here you can find the text of the talk he gave on August 3, 1929, when he dissolved The Order of the Star that he was head of. Years and years later he maintained that the core of his teaching is included in the sentence, "Truth is a pathless land".]

Minor references in this book to theosophical clairvoyant and liberal catholic bishop, C.W. Leadbeater, who supposedly found Krishnamurti, strengthen my judgement that he was NOT a highly developed man: he was full of himself and wanted to make himself important. The path of initiation as he saw it, was mere fantasy. He was disappointed and thought Krishnamurti had "failed". Instead, Annie Besant, president of the Theosophical Society and his foster mother, "was the one person who never doubted that Krishnaji [Krishnamurti's nickname] was the world teacher. She had warned everyone that when the World Teacher manifests, he may say things completely contrary to what they expect."* Reputedly she later said in private, that maybe he was greater than we imagined: not expected world teacher, but the truth itself walking quietly among us. 

Personally, I have always enjoyed ceremonies of the Liberal Catholic Church, but I have recognized their imperfection: in an attempt to renew the Christian Church in 1916, they were too hasty, and renewal was left halfway. They still lean too much on the old tradition. The Christian Community did it much better a few years later, in 1922. I'm still a member of the latter one, yet an ex-christian. 

Even in this book, a question is left unanswered if Maitreya actually was behind Krishnamurti. It seems that he himself was equally puzzled. He did say, "I have never denied the Masters, but Leadbeater and Arundale [also a bishop in LCC, and the president of the Theosophical Society after passing of Annie Besant in 1933, leading it until 1945] brought what was sublime to the ridiculous, and I denied the ridiculous."*

All his life he underwent something that he called "process", which caused him great pains. But a feelings of bliss and sacredness were there too. 

Osho, a controversial modern guru, who had some interesting ideas, but whom I can't possibly consider enlightened (if you have seen Netflix documentary series, Wild Wild Country, you know what I mean), valued Krishnamurti, and said he was on the mountain top and his listeners were down in the valley. He also said, Krishnamurti didn't give answers, he was the answer. That is an impression you might get while listening to recordings of his speeches. [see the YouTube Channel of Krishnamurti Foundation.] Sometimes he seems a little frustrated: "You have listened to me for decades, and you haven't changed! Change now, not tomorrow." At some point he states, he has been like he is since childhood, "a freak of nature". Perhaps he was not able to see how hard that, which was natural to him, was for other people? He has been criticized by some for not offering any method. 

One has to find the answer for oneself; one has to wipe the slate clean and begin again, knowing that no one outside is going to help you - no authority, no belief, no religious sanctions, no moral standards - nothing. Nor will the past, with its scriptures, saviours, gurus, and all that. These are no longer important. 

Jiddu Krishnamurti, talk to young people 2, Brandeis University, 21 October 1968

Krishnamurti met Dalai Lama and they had philosophical conversation in spirit of mutual respect. Dalai Lama said that Krishnamurti is one of the greatest thinkers of our Era. He also had discussions with physicist David Bohm. I have cited him as I told of my interest in quantum physics: there is a logical continuation from quantum physics to Krishnamurti - it's all about the nature of reality, and our status in it. This is an example how ideas come to me at the right time, in right order, to support my spiritual growth. I think even my experience at Lectorium Rosicrucianum, with Gnosticism, was valuable [For both, quantum physics and gnosticism, see my previous post, This I know in my Heart: My Experience of Gnosis]: there is some truth about their teachings, that is, we are influenced, we are lived, and we must change: become neutral, inwardly silent. But you don't need to belong to a group - rather I see it as an individual task, even lonely task - neither you need forced restrictions, nor all that unnecessary esoteric hogwash. Just listen to Krishnamurti; he is the purest embodiment of this mental state. 

 To stand alone is to be uncorrupted, innocent, free of all tradition, of dogma, of opinion, of what another says, and so on. Such a mind does not seek, because there is nothing to seek; being free, such a mind is completely still, without a want, without movement. 

Jiddu Krishnamurti, Ojai 2nd public talk, 7th August 1955

Krishnamurti was asked what he thought about Buddha, and he answered he didn't: thought does not reach the realm of understanding. Allegedly he also said that nobody listened to Buddha, and that's why we have Buddhism. Naturally, same can be said of Jesus and Christianity. When a Buddhist scholar listed things Krishnamurti seemed to agree on with Buddha, Krishnamurti first asked why such a comparison. He did say, however, that Buddha had always appealed to him. 

Just before reading the book, I was worried about my mental health: I felt I went so deep on the edge of desperation, minding the state of humanity today. It has been a long process. Most of all I have been  bothered by the fact, that I am just like everyone else! I have strong opinions, I can easily take a side and get agitated by those I disagree with. Yet, people really don't have opinions of their own - we absorb everything from outside. I even questioned if I want to be part of the human race. I remember reading that according to early Christian Desert Fathers, to truly love mankind and pray for all one needs to take distance. That's why they retreated from the world. Similarly, I find it necessary to keep mental distance today: I no longer follow the News that much - they are often speculating about the worst case scenarios and causing pointless fear and worry. Likewise, it has become essential for me not to read internet forums or comments; then you will definitely lose hope about the future of mankind (and I don't mean no one should comment on my posts: I write about such a marginal stuff, it won't interest many, so apparently I don't attract attention of bullies either.)

Humanity has gone through devaluation, now that anyone can vomit the content of their mind for the eyes of others. Three poisons defined in Buddhism - attachment or greed, aversion or hatred, and ignorance - are just as relevant today as ever. [A good description of them is given here.]

When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence. 

Jiddu Krishnamurti

I have used a phrase, "I'm only human", as an excuse not to try. Now, thanks to Krishnamurti, it has become clear to me: Yes, it all starts with me, I must change! It won't start with states or companies, but with individuals. Even peace is attained only by striving for peace in one's own life. That is a message nobody likes to hear, because it demands so much from you - your whole life! It is not enough to protest, vote, recycle, go vegan... it is all external. The real change occurs within. Also, it is not about definitions of "good" and "evil", and following commands or precepts; that is only shifting the focus within old confines. It is about observing oneself, and becoming aware; that much I'm able to understand. 

The man who wants to improve himself can never be aware, because improvement implies condemnation and the achievement of a result. Whereas in awareness there is observation without condemnation, without denial or acceptance. 

Jiddu Krishnamurti

Since the beginning of my Buddhist practice in 2018, I have been praying in silent prayers of my daily Gongyo (which I have modeled after examples given by other independent practitioners online, usually ex-SGI members), "for the great aspiration of Buddha; peace for land generated by means of the purification of mind." It is gratifying to see clear evolution in your spiritual life: difficult matters ripen in your mind slowly but surely, and produce fruits of insight at some point. Sometimes they can be "self-evident", something you have read and known in theory, until they come to life to you in personal realization when you are ready. 

To transform the world, we must begin with ourselves; and what is important in beginning with ourselves is the intention. The intention must be to understand ourselves and not to leave it to others to transform themselves or to bring about a modified change through revolution, either of the left or of the right. It is important to understand that this is our responsibility, yours and mine...

Jiddu Krishnamurti

Also only now I better understand Bodhisattva vows, that are part of my practice, as they are part of Nichiren Shu Gongyo. Like, "sentient beings are innumerable: I vow to save them all." What - I, all!? That is exactly one man's responsibility as part of the whole, just like you take part in all negativity along with the rest of mankind. I once heard that at least in the US at some schools of Buddhism, they have replaced that with a phrase, "I am with them": it is uninspiring, and undermines the whole statement. I may understand, that Westerners might easily be reminded of Christianity and Jesus, who alone saves all. "The way of the Buddha is unexcelled: I vow to attain the Path Sublime." [See "How to be a Bodhisattva" by Nichiren Shu UK.]

Sentient beings obviously include not only humans. I don't believe in Christian idea of man as a "crown of creation", who was given dominion over other species. We are one species among others. Even intellect hasn't been only beneficial for us, we have misused it a lot. I think animals who act according to their nature, are more purely what they are and closer to their original purpose. Man is the greatest reason for their suffering as well, therefore their liberation must begin by man. 

As a Christian I used to say again and again to myself: neighborly love begins with yourself. Indeed. It is a paradox, that when the spiritual path takes you deeper and deeper within, it may seem self-centered. But when a man acknowledges one's own responsibility for the state of whole human race, their perception will enlarge inevitably. You are part of the problem, unless you're part of the solution. You can either go with a flow - highway to hell with the majority of mankind - or you can go to counter-current with the few who can see. 

If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation. 

Jiddu Krishnamurti

I have known about Krishnamurti from 1990's, along with Theosophy. It seems that I already have everything I need: I just really need to realize it. Moments of anxiety and desperation always seem to precede the greatest realizations. There is nothing new to me, but sometimes I may lose inner resolution out of my sight, while worrying what is wrong with human race around me, human race I'm part of. I seem to be very disposed to influences, which often shows in negative ways, but in this case it is manifested through openness and receptivity as I listen to Krishnamurti. I feel I receive something, even if understanding was not reached right away. 

When I understand myself, I understand you, and out of that understanding comes love. Love is the missing factor; there is a lack of affection, of warmth in relationship; and because we lack that love, that tenderness, that generosity, that mercy in relationship, we escape into mass action which produces further confusion, further misery. We fill our hearts with blueprints for world reform and do not look to that one resolving factor which is love.

Jiddu Krishnamurti 

When I told my old friend about my interest in quantum physics, I was disappointed in his weak reaction. This time at least as enthusiastic about Krishnamurti as I was in quantum physics, I just noted with understanding that nothing in him resonated with this.  

My own small insights along the way have pointed at the same direction, built me up bit by bit, and I feel that what Jiddu Krishnamurti is talking about, is the next logical step on spiritual evolution, that goes beyond all religions. It requires questioning all knowledge assumed until now. Even I'm still too attached to my Buddhism. I'm like a vessel filled with finest wines, but I'd rather go to fountain of fresh water springing up in me. 

How can you think about something which you do not know? You may have read the Bible, the Bhagavad-Gita, or other books in which various erudite scholars have skillfully described what God is, asserting this and contradicting that; but as long as you do not know the process of your own thinking, what you think about God may be stupid and petty, and generally it is.

Jiddu Krishnamurti

*Prof. Padmanabhan Krishna, Krishnamurti Foundation India: Annie Besant & Krishnamurti: Two great souls in the quest for truth. 

See also: Carlos Cardoso Aveline: The Making of an Avatar; Examining Adyar's Attempt to Fabricate the Return of Christ.

Below a documentary for DVD of Lucasfilm television series, The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles (1992 - 1996). I used to watch it, and the only episode I can remember, was the one where young Indy met Krishnamurti; Leadbeater and Besant were portrayed as well. I was excited about Theosophy at that time, so it was very intriguing to me. 

Jiddu Krishnamurti: The Reluctant Messiah [26:48]: 

MOTHER MARY AND DIVINE FEMININE

“ My soul magnifies the Lord,
  And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.
   For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant;
    For behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed.
    For He who is mighty has done great things for me,
    And holy is His name.
       And His mercy is on those who fear Him
      From generation to generation.
      He has shown strength with His arm;
      He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
    He has put down the mighty from their thrones,
      And exalted the lowly.
  He has filled the hungry with good things,
      And the rich He has sent away empty.
He has helped His servant Israel,
      In remembrance of His mercy,
   As He spoke to our fathers,
      To Abraham and to his seed forever.”

(Luke 1:46-55 NKJV)

In my spiritual life, I have become very traditional, even "catholic" in broader sense of a word. So it is not so strange I have had to ponder on my relationship with Mary. But actually, it's not correct to say "ponder", since even as I have read a lot, first and foremost I consider myself a Mystic. Mystically speaking, I can put it this way: Mary originally approached to me in prayer, and now she has taken place by her Son in the centre of my devotion. When I first prayed the Rosary, it was very powerful experience. 

However, there is one thing that needs to be understood here: Although it's only natural I see her in traditional figure like artists have portrayed her through the centuries, it is not self-evident if I actually think she is Mary of Nazareth, mother of Jesus. She might as well be an Archetype. I have a same reservations about Jesus himself. But these are things I don't really trouble my head with. Practical relationship, prayer life, is important. 

God the Father is an abstract idea to me - perhaps due to my distant relationship wiht my own father - and that's exactly the meaning of Christ Jesus: Through Him the Father, whom no one has ever seen,  is manifested. Same could be true about Mary and the Holy Spirit, and even more about Mary and Sophia, Divine Wisdom. Who could actually say they understand who or what is Sophia, without using memorised phrases? Not me. But if Mary is, in a way, Sophia incarnated or earthly reflection of her, it becomes easier to comprehend. 

When we take a look at the Old Testament, we may find a concept of Shekinah, a name that in Heprew is feminine. It is used especially in Talmud and Kabbalah to describe feminine characteristics of God's presence, manifestation of her presence on earth. In literature Shekinah is also called the Holy Spirit, which is related to Wisdom of God, often personified as feminine in both the Old and New Testaments. Philo of Alexandria identified Wisdom with a concept of Greek philosophy, Logos, and as such, Christ - Logos - is often identified with Wisdom, but Wisdom is also seen as the bride of Logos. Theophilus of Antioch identified Sophia with the Holy Spirit. Heprew word for "Spirit" is feminine too, Ruach, but it was lost during translation from Heprew to Greek; The Holy Spirit, Pneuma Hagion in Greek, is neutral, and it was turned to masculine when translated to Latin!

Ancient symbol of feminine Divinity, a dove, is related especially to Mary in art, for instance, as Central figure in decent of the Holy Spirit on Pentecost. Holy Family in canonical Christian iconography is also seen as an image of the Trinity: Joseph representing the Father, Jesus representing Christ, and Mary representing the Holy Spirit. Gnostic Gospel of Philip states, "Some said, 'Mary conceived by the Holy Spirit.' They are in error. They do not know what they are saying. When did a woman ever conceive by a woman?" 

Some say, women priests in protestant Churches derive from the fact, that feminine is reformed out of Churches with Mary. However, Martin Luther said: "[She is the] highest woman and the noblest gem in Christianity after Christ...She is nobility, wisdom, and holiness personified. We can never honor her enough. Still honor and praise must be given to her in such a way as to injure neither Christ nor the Scriptures." (Sermon, Christmas, 1531).

"Mary is the Mother of Jesus and the Mother of all of us even though it was Christ alone who reposed on her knees...If he is ours, we ought to be in his situation; there where he is, we ought also to be and all that he has ought to be ours, and his mother is also our mother." (Sermon, Christmas, 1529).

Protestants easily imagine that Catholics think Virgin Mary is divine because of herself, and equal to Christ. But the principal glory of Mary lies in her nothingness, in an exemplary Faith she expressed: “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” (Lk 1:38 NKJV)

At a Wedding in Cana, Mary points at her Son, saying: “Whatever He says to you, do it.”  (John 2:5 NKJV)

And on the Cross Jesus says to her mother, “Woman, behold your son!” , and to John: “Behold your mother!” , thus making a statement that His mother is Our Mother, Mother of the Church. (John 19:26 NKJV)
There is, however, a group within the Catholic Church, that is promoting for the Fifth Marian Dogma: Mary Co-Redemptrix. 

I have already written on Virgin birth [Jesus Christ: Life and Mission]. I only repeat the words of late Finnish Lutheran Vicar, Voitto Viro, who wrote in the 60's: "It's not important how Jesus was born, but the fact that he was born in the first place." Abd-Ru-Shin writes,

"Every conception arising out of pure love and a heartfelt looking upwards to the Creator, in which the sensual instinct is only an adjunct and not the basis, is an immaculate conception in the physical sense. In reality this occurs so seldom that there was every justification for laying special stress upon it."

St. Ambrose said: "Let Mary's soul be in us to glorify the Lord; let her spirit be in us that we may rejoice in God our Saviour."  

And Angelus Silesius, a Mystic and Poet:  "The Virgin I must be and bring God forth from me

Should ever I be granted divine felicity. "   

"'Virgin mind' is the innocent and open mind, untrammeled by knowledge and words, and, as it were, without 'conception' (profane conception), and therefore ready to be filled by the Sacred seed."

As Dictionary tells us, "conception" is

1. the act of conceiving;  the state of being conceived.

2. fertilization; inception of pregnancy.

3.a notion; idea; concept.

Indeed, I think "virginity" in this sense, is related to being like a child, that Jesus says is a requirement for entering the Kingdom of Heaven, which I see as realm of creativity and imagination. Both "virgin" and a "child" were also seen in early Christian writings as androgyne beings, symbols of wholeness. 

I am in contact with the Liberal Catholic Church in Finland, and they see Mary as motherly face of God and she is called the World Mother. According to C.W.Leadbeater, "There are three distinct ideas involved in the ordinary thought of Her:

1. The story of the mother of the disciple Jesus; what She was and what She afterwards became.

2. The sea of virgin matter, the Great Deep, the water over the face of which the Spirit of God moved.

3. The feminine Aspect of the Deity." 

(World Mother as Symbol and Fact) 

To me it is obvious, that the Highest Godhead is above all we can say, and it is neither masculine nor feminine. As St. Maximus the Confessor wrote, even as we worship the God beyond everything as Trinity and Unity, he is not three nor one as we know these numbers. Personally I don't like image of God as Michelangelo portrayed him, as an old bearded man on the cloud. Yet many Christians have made God unto their own image. My God is not white, heterosexual man. However, all opposites in manifested world merge into one Godhead in perfect harmony, and symbolically it's possible to say that God is the Mother as much as the Father. Many mystics have said the same, Juliana of Norwich being one of them. There are even modern versions of the Lord's Prayer taking this into account. 

Lords Prayer, from Aramaic into Old English:

Translation by G.J.R. Ouseley from The Gospel of the Holy Twelve

 

Our Father-Mother Who art above and within: 

Hallowed be Thy Name in twofold Trinity. 

In Wisdom, Love and Equity Thy Kingdom come to all. 

Thy will be done, As in Heaven so in Earth. 

Give us day by day to partake of Thy holy Bread, and the fruit of the living Vine. 

As Thou dost forgive us our trespasses, so may we forgive others who trespass against us. 

Shew upon us Thy goodness, that to others we may shew the same. 

In the hour of temptation, deliver us from evil. 

Amun.

Some Bible verses on God as the Mother:
"When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take care of me." (Ps.27:10)
"Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you." (Isaiah 49:15)
"As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you." (Isaiah 66:13)
"The LORD shall go forth like a mighty man; He shall stir up His zeal like a man of war. He shall cry out, yes, shout aloud; He shall prevail against His enemies. I have held My peace a long time,  I have been still and restrained Myself. Now I will cry like a woman in labor, I will pant and gasp at once." (Isaiah 42:13-14)
Jesus said also: "How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings." (Mt.23:37) Some female mystics have called Jesus their mother, and even experienced him nursing them from his side wound.

Jesus, as a mother you gather your people to you:
You are gentle with us as a mother with her children;
Often you weep over our sins and our pride:
tenderly you draw us from hatred and judgment.
You comfort us in sorrow and bind up our wounds:
in sickness you nurse us,
and with pure milk you feed us.
Jesus, by your dying we are born to new life:
by your anguish and labor we come forth in joy.
Despair turns to hope through your sweet goodness:
through your gentleness we find comfort in fear.
Your warmth gives life to the dead:
your touch makes sinners righteous.
Lord Jesus, in your mercy heal us:
in your love and tenderness remake us.
In your compassion bring grace and forgiveness:
for the beauty of heaven may your love prepare us.

Anselm of Canterbury


On Assumption of Mary, C.G.Jung saw this papal declaration addressing “the profoundest problem afflicting the human psyche: an imbalance which favored masculine principles and archetypes over the feminine ones."

"In the declaration that Mary had been physically assumed into heaven, Jung saw the Church as accepting at long last the physical world. But more importantly, in that declaration which affirms that a woman has been bodily assumed into heaven and has taken her seat on the throne of glory, Jung saw the Church as harvesting and celebrating the feminine and gentle element built into creation", writes Fr. Alexis Luzi, OFM.

 I find Apparitions of Mary around the world fascinating. They all are not officially approved by Rome, but the people have affiliated with them anyway. And they are not restricted to Roman Catholic world either. One occured in Coptic Church, Zeitoun, Egypt, in 1968-70. Famous locations are Fatima and Lourdes. Personally I like especially Maria Rosa Mystica in her simple beaty. Nowadays the most famous apparition site must be in Medjugorje, Bosnia and Herzegovina. I enjoy how Jayden Cameron in his Gay Mystic Blog writes about Medjugorje.

There is no doubt in my mind, that position of Mary in Catholicism is continuity of Pre-Christian Goddess-worship, like that of Isis, popular in Roman Empire in the beginning of Common Era. For many Christians this could prove against it, but I see it the other way round, just like so many other things in Christianity stem from Pre-Christian Mystery Cults, and they reflect certain universal spiritual truths. 
They say, the return of the Divine Feminine in contemporary world is wittnessed by many things like expansion of the rights of women, popularity of alternative medicine, recognition of animal rights, development of gay rights, to name a few.
I find the ritual an important way to approach the Divine, and so I have collected for my own use a ritual, that I call "The Sophian Service"; you might call it Christo-pagan.

Hail Mary Sophia,
Daughter of Light,
Who Speaks:
I am the Handmaid of the Lord,
I am the Queen of Peace,
I am the Virgin Soul
I am the Womb of Divine Love,
I am the Voice of Silence,
I am the Vessel for the Wisdom of God,
I am the Bearer of the Memory of God’s Son.
Sophia Blesses us with
The Light of Wisdom,
The Life of Fulfillment,
The Love of Creation.
We unite Ourselves with Sophia,
We seek Communion in her Name,
We offer our Hearts in Devotion to Sophia.

Amen.