In the beginning of this year, 2018, I practiced silent meditation, Zazen, not daily but whenever I had time and I felt like it; I also started to go to my church, The Christian Community, every Sunday. Yet my spiritual life was very dry. Even though I learnt to appreciate the tradition of my church again, and I found inner peace in our Mass just like always before, I no longer could call myself a Christian, neither I believed in personal God, or that Jesus was more than human. With my partner we go to the "Rainbow Mass" of the Lutheran Church, aimed for GLBTQ-people, and I'm happy we can share that religious world together.
I see certain progress in my spiritual life, especially since 2015, but even when I avowed myself a Luciferean, I really needed to take that step, go deep to the darkness to find my way back to the light again. After all, Lucifer means "the bringer of light"! I'm proud I can see the both sides without fear; it's balance.
So my mind was moving for certain direction. Oriental thought seemed much more natural to me than Christian world view. I have always been interested in Buddhism, and vaguely aware of different schools of Buddhism. But it seemed perhaps a little too intellectual, more like philosophy than religion. That's why Zen was most interesting to me, and I went to local Zendo to learn to meditate in Zen way - Zazen. I have meditated before, and there are different techniques in Zen too, but the one I adopted because it suits me so well, is a "technique without technique". Basicly, it's just sitting. There is no purpose. When you focus on something, you are easily distracted, but with this technique everything that happens around you, becomes part of your practice. I also liked it because it goes beyond words and ideas and needs no faith in anything.
I have become very critical, even skeptical, about spirituality and religion, and yet I do have a tendency toward mysticism, and it's good to see that I still can get excited about something. So what happened next was not a result of thinking, but more like a "mystical experience", very sudden and surprising even for myself. I'm almost ashamed to admit it was triggered by such a trivial thing: I was watching a Youtube video of Tina Turner chanting a mantra, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo; it touched me deeply, resonating with something within me. It stuck with my mind, and after couple of days I started chanting at home. Soon after I set up a proper Buddhist altar, and now I'm learning to recite the Lotus Sutra in Japanese!
While silent meditation is passive and more about your mind, chanting is very physical and active. I haven't stopped meditating, but even meditation feels more profound after chanting. I had not even read about Nam Myoho Renge Kyo before - I only remember seeing the movie "What's love got to do with it" in the 1990's, and a scene of Tina Turner chanting; I was with a Japanese friend, who pointed out she was chanting in Japanese.
Now that I read more about its meaning, I right away acknowledged that I already believe in this! It's like a key I have been missing... to tune myself with the rhythm of the universe. In previous post, "Through Death to Love", I tell what happened to me after my long-time partner suddenly died. Already then I felt like everything goes just like it's supposed to go, in the best possible way: The Universe is working in favor of me, and I'm in the flow of life. Miracles happened, things I never dreamed of doing. Of course the death of my partner was something I never wanted, but it was like forces of change were blocked, and a "strike of destiny" was necessary. Everything after that was not by grace granted by some higher being, but I found the power and courage within me to act for change. Even after that I have also experienced a setback, when I have lost my course, let the worries distract my mind and anger blur my vision. Water will carry you as long as you trust it will, if you panic, you will drown; that's the nature of life too. You need to adapt to its flow, because if you stand against it, you are asking for trouble and suffering. It's an attitude you can choose and act on it.
That's what I mean by "key", a tool to work with, to harmonize yourself with the Law of Life. "In the beginning was the Word..." (1 Jh.1)
This practice comes from Nichiren Buddhism, which also has various subgroups with slightly different tenets. In Finland, where I live, we have Nichiren Shoshu school, and its rebellious offspring, Soka Gakkai International - the most wide spread and largest of all. After doing some research - thanks to internet, it's so easy today, and I seriously encourage everyone to do the same, no matter what religion or spiritual movement you are interested in - I am convinced that I will remain an independent practicioner; there are lots of us throughout the world too.
I can't really judge something I have no experience of, and I'm sure I would meet nice people in Soka Gakkai International, but I'm also sure I would meet some narrow-minded people, because that's just human! Especially I'm afraid of dogmatism, superstition, and a cult of personality: that's all too familiar for me. I'm just protecting myself from disappointment - I already have enough of that for one life time. I must admit that their attitude toward GLBTQ-people seems to be okay.
I'm not interested in Temple Buddhism with their priesthood. And I don't really feel like I need a group of like-minded people at all. Like-mindedness to me is both an illusion and a threat, as I have experienced both sides during my spiritual journey; illusion, when you actually have a mind of your own, and you find that your ideas are not accepted; threat, when you are so brainwashed that you believe everything you are told, even if it is against your very nature.
From three major branches of Nichiren Buddhism, Nichiren Shu seems to be closest to traditional Buddhism.
Here are the theses I hold to:
- There is no one true form of Buddhism, just like there is no one true form of Christianity.
- I revere Shakyamuni Buddha; Nichiren is not Buddha of "the Latter day of the Law". He was just a priest. Some people have compared him with Luther. Just like Luther, he also had his faults as a human being. He didn't invent chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, he only wrapped it up in this form and deserves to be remembered as its populariser.
- The Lotus Sutra is one Sutra among others. This practice is based on it, so it is essential. But more traditional Buddhist teachings are important too. Personally, I perceive the Lotus Sutra a kind of like the Gospel according to John in Christianity: it is later than other canonical gospels, and includes highly developed theology; it is central to all Christian Churches, but a question is, is it more a teaching about Jesus than teaching of Jesus. However, power of myths is meaningful too, it addresses the feeling rather than reason.
I have printed my Gohonzon from internet, and that is obviously sacrilegious to all hardcore-Nichiren-Buddhists. I keep it framed on the wall above my small altar table - not closed in Butsudan when I don't practice - and I also have a statue of Shakyamuni Buddha on the shelf in the middle. As an independent practicioner, you are of course free to choose which elements of practice speak to you. Daimoku is after all the one and only thing necessary. When I still was Christian, my private devotional practice was composed of very similar elements, so it is not so alien to me. It fascinates me that this is much more religious discipline than mere silent meditation. However, it's hard for me to see Daimoku separate from Buddhist context, or else you might just as well repeat the phrase, "abracadabra".
We are in the core of Buddhism: we don't plead with external Deity, expecting for their mercy, but rather try to bring forth our own inherent potential of Buddhahood: Buddha nature.
This practice is very empowering; it's like opening a spring of clear fresh water in me, it's pure joy, and even though I learnt it from external sources, at the same time I feel it already existed within me, and it is my very own sacred realm, where I am absolutely free individual.
Nichiren Buddhism is sometimes criticised because people chant to achieve material benefits for themselves, and that sounds like New Age to me. Even as a Christian, I didn't want to pray for a specific outcome or realization of some concrete goal, because it seemed too egoistic to me, and how should I know what's really best for me. That's exactly the same thing, and many Christians do that anyway! True happiness is within, not outside. Why expect for a miracle, when life itself is a miracle. I don't practice in hope of some future reward, but because of its immediate positive influence. Yet all the good things that happened to me in recent years were like a by-product of living in harmony with the currents of the Universe, with positive attitude. So I don't claim you need this practice for that, but maybe it helps; it's not always easy, so all the help is welcome.
I realize it may sound a little too simple and irrational, and I think I am quite intellectual and rational guy, but perhaps the greatest things in life are simple and irrational - practical and matters of heart. If you are an independent practicioner of this tradition, I would like to hear from you; we are members of the one spiritual Sangha!
No comments:
Post a Comment