Finally, as Lucifer, true to his name, he is the bearer of the spark of light, who descended through the planetary spheres from the highest light down to the matter, seeking to liberate it as a work of salvation. - Carl Jung
I have an old post called "Satan loves you!", which illuminates my thoughts before I avowed myself a Luciferian. In that post I already write about the difference between Satan and Lucifer, but I was yet to own a title of Luciferian.
Already in 2012 I was spiritually confused, and it felt kind of good: it was indicating that I had not stopped on my spiritual journey - I was still going forward. A year after that I found that I can never be sure where the next step will lead me, and it was exciting! A couple of years later I was like on open sea, no land in sight in any direction.
So I had already started to move further away from my esoteric Christian denomination, I embraced many practices on my own, like Rosary and personal devotion before the home altar, that were not part of my faith tradition. I was interested in revolutionary ideas of Krishnamurti and Gurdjieff, as much as I was familiar with them (not so much really), and original Theosophical doctrines of H.P. Blavatsky, in stead of later watered down versions by others. Also, out of curiosity I was already somehow intrigued by darker things, like Satanism. I was flirting with the darkness.
Then at the beginning of the year 2013 a real crisis occurred, as I have reported in my post, "Disillusioned - Enlightened", that really got me alienated from my Church; I felt I was not supported at all, the whole matter was more like hushed up. In a way, my community became exposed less than perfect, like any other religious community, or human community in general; Obviously, that should be no surprising, but to me it was devastating: my ideal was crushed. No wonder I fell to pessimism and cynicism. That was natural outcome of deep disappointment, and of course it was not very healthy, but it had nothing to do with the worldview in itself I soon chose. But I guess it gave me an excuse for anger, which was justified.
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| The Eucharist on my home altar |
I stopped going to Church, and fully embraced an individual approach to religious practice. I started to think I was a priest to myself, and finally even adopted the Eucharist as a central part of my daily devotion, which became more like the Mass in its entirety, with complete form of words and gestures.
I don't remember how it exactly happened, but at some point I got tired of the whole Christianity thing. It was like that road was walked through, nothing more to see there. I wanted to explore the road less traveled.
That was relatively short period in my life, about 2013-2015, and I never addressed the topic in this blog at the time. I did write another blog dedicated to this philosophy, entitled, "Ministry of Infernal Affairs", but it was in Finnish; I only wanted to include that wordplay, which is impossible to translate. Some of my themes were symbolism of Baphomet, and that of sigil of Lucifer, and that of the snake on the cross; Planet Venus; Connection between Wicca, Thelema, and Satanism; Yazidism, and Aleister Crowley's association with it; The Left-Hand Path in Hinduism and Buddhism; H.P. Blavatsky's thoughts on Christ and Lucifer; Prayer in Buddhism; The Eucharist in Thelema; and of course different schools of Luciferianism, and history of Satanism. Obviously, as in many of my blogs, I collected and translated those writings from various sources, they were not my own creation - but reflected ideas I was dealing with.
When my partner suddenly died, I felt my worldview had become too gloomy to help me, and I deleted my new blog. Afterwards I thought it was too hasty, and I have regretted; great work got wasted. After all, there was absolutely nothing evil about it!
Why I want to address the topic now, many years afterwards, is because I think it has a connection to Buddhism, and I still value that symbolism greatly, and see that phase extremely important. These are my personal views only!
I was rebelling against the traditional religiousness and the old-testament image of god. That's why the archetype of all rebels! I didn't consider him a personal being, but rather the representative of the secret godhead in Gnostic sense (as I used to be a Gnostic, and it had a permanent influence on my thought, I guess). Selfishness was never idealized matter to me, even though I could sympathize with philosophical Satanists as well. Yet I made a distinction between Satanism and Luciferianism, as well as between the characters of Satan and Lucifer. There are many interpretations of course, but mainly I saw Satan representing matter, and Lucifer representing spirit. After all, astrologically Satan's planet is Saturn, and Lucifer's planet is Venus, and Venus is both the evening star and the morning star. Let him who has understanding calculate...
I had to break through the cultural conditioning and prejudices instilled in me, and I think it is great richness to see the both sides without fear. It is balance. This must have been the biggest benefit of this byway in my life. It's not in vain that Lucifer means "the bringer of light".
It is interesting psychological phenomenon that for some of us detachment from Christianity and all childhood brainwashing requires turning to the opposite force built within this dualistic doctrine. But if you stop there, paradoxically you still hang on this imagery and concepts based on Christianity (obviously, fundamentally older than Christianity). However, if you understand Lucifer as the principle of evil portrayed by Theology, you don't understand at all! It was a necessary phase to rip me off from the last remains of Christianity.
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| My Luciferian altar, made by myself |
On my Luciferian altar I had a cross with a coiled snake, inspired by the Process Church of the Final Judgment, which I found very fascinating with their peculiar Theology. Later, I also had a sigil of Lucifer underneath. My daily practice was the Rosary of Azazel (not available online in English; the most repeated phrase on ten beads is, "Lucifer-Christos, Soul of God, have mercy on us": doesn't sound so terrifying, does it?) of the Finnish society, Star of Azazel, which tries to combine the right-hand and the left-hand paths, interpreting Satanism through Theosophy. My version of the practice was complemented with the prayer from the Tibetan Book of the Dead (couldn't find it in English), and Pater Noster (yes, in Latin, that "magical language"!). The Eucharist was also included, but justified by practices of Wicca and Thelema. I was reflecting on buying a ritual dagger and adding a pagan ritual, magical circle and pentagram drawn on four directions in the air, but it didn't reach realization.
Perhaps my Luciferianism was about integration of my suppressed and forbidden shadow-side as a part of myself: angel and demon within me were merged, as a whole human being.
My new worldview was short-lived, but I went deep. Even though I abandoned Luciferianism, am I not really more Luciferian today by nature than ever before? Outer destiny helped me through the spiritual revolution. My deep disappointment in religious people in 2013, and the sudden death of my partner in 2015, both were part of this process that took me through the darkness into the Light, purified and enlightened. Even my belief in people was restored. What used to be a spiritual ideal to me, now became a practical reality.
Gnosticism and Luciferianism are still strong in me, and I don't mean as conscious thoughts, mixture of different ideas, but naturally through that spiritual relationship these things share with Buddhism. Carl Jung is the bond binding them together. Lucifer is the bringer of light, enlightenment is the goal of Buddhism; man aspires and attains, and the goal is within: no outer god with divine mercy bestows it. It's about individual and their psyche. Once Luciferianism is internalized, names and symbols don't matter.
My Luciferian phase was accompanied by disappointment in people, especially religious people, that in a way led to disappointment in god, who made people in his image, or rather, whom people have made in their image.
I still find paradise myth very meaningful. As Edward F. Edinger, Psychologist and Jungian analyst, has interpreted:
The drama of temptation and fall begins when the original state of passive inflation turns into the active inflation of a specific deed. The serpent's whole approach and appeal is expressed in inflationary terms - when you eat of this fruit, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God. So the fruit of the tree is eaten and the inevitable consequences unfold.
It all begins because Adam and Eve dare to act on their desire to be like God. The myth depicts the birth of the consciousness as a crime which alienates man from God and from his original preconscious wholeness. The fruit is clearly symbolical of consciousness. It is the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, which means that it brings awareness of the opposites, the specific feature of consciousness.
Thus, according to this myth and the theological doctrines that rest on it, consciousness is the original sin, the original hubris, and the root cause of all evil in human nature. However, others have understood it differently. The Ophites, a Gnostic sect, worshipped the serpent. They had essentially the same view as modern psychology. To them the serpent represented the spiritual principle symbolizing redemption from bondage to the demiurge that created the Garden of Eden and would keep man in ignorance.
The serpent was considered good and Yahweh bad. Psychologically the serpent is the principle of Gnosis, knowledge or emerging consciousness. The serpent's temptation represents the urge to self-realization in man and symbolizes the principle of individuation. Some gnostic sects even identified the serpent in the Garden of Eden with Christ. Eating the forbidden fruit marks the transition from the eternal state of unconscious oneness with the Self (the mindless, animal state) to a real conscious life in space and time.
In short, the myth symbolizes the birth of the ego. The effect of this birth process is to alienate the ego from its origins. It now moves into a world of suffering, conflict and uncertainty. No wonder we are reluctant to take the step to greater consciousness.
Indeed. There are no concepts of "sin" or "fall" in original story, neither according to Judaism. This story is actually very empowering - therapeutic myth, as Jung said!
Blutengel: Morningstar
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