I met my man in a gay bar on March 13th 1997. I was 27 and he was (and is) one year younger. I had only recently taken my first steps out at the gay scene and had had a couple of one night stands - and not very good ones: I was already tired of that kind.
It was not "love at the first sight" - I don't really believe in that - but he made me laugh and I felt comfortable with him. I was just passing through Tampere on my way to Helsinki, and he offered me a place to sleep over - and he really meant that nothing else was required. It was I who made the move. For the first time I was active and wanted to please another man. Next morning I desided not to go to Helsinki; for once I was not in a hurry to get out. We got up late and had breakfast together. Later he told me he had thought "how strange that someone stays for breakfast"! We actually spent the day together until I got back to my school.
We wrote letters to each other and I met him again... and again. When my school was over, he took me to his home to stay until I found a place of my own. Only few months later he suddenly lost his appartment and I had a chance to return a favor. It was meant to be a temporary solution, but soon I could no longer even consider living separately again.
It took months before "I love you" was said, and it is such a big thing that I don't think it should be thrown around too easily. We have gradually grown to love one another. I think it's better than a sudden emotional rush - I've had that too, and it was hell! That flame burnt out just as quick as it was turned on and "love" turned to hate. I don't believe in "twin souls"; I believe two people may become twin souls for each other.
After two years - can you imagin? - we got engaged. One evening in the forest by the lake, a big rock as an altar and the Bible placed on it, we performed perfectly planned ritual - reading poems we had written for each other - and exchanged rings. Next morning we confirmed our commitment by partaking a communion. A priest was aware of our private celebration. It was deeply meaningful for both of us!
Since then we've gone through hard times and we have both made mistakes, but it all has strenghtened us! Nowadays in Finland same sex couples can register their relationships. We wait until we are able to arrange a party among friends and family. And that will also include a ceremonial blessing for our union. As engagement was just between the two of us, so will our wedding be a communal event.
It was not "love at the first sight" - I don't really believe in that - but he made me laugh and I felt comfortable with him. I was just passing through Tampere on my way to Helsinki, and he offered me a place to sleep over - and he really meant that nothing else was required. It was I who made the move. For the first time I was active and wanted to please another man. Next morning I desided not to go to Helsinki; for once I was not in a hurry to get out. We got up late and had breakfast together. Later he told me he had thought "how strange that someone stays for breakfast"! We actually spent the day together until I got back to my school.
We wrote letters to each other and I met him again... and again. When my school was over, he took me to his home to stay until I found a place of my own. Only few months later he suddenly lost his appartment and I had a chance to return a favor. It was meant to be a temporary solution, but soon I could no longer even consider living separately again.
It took months before "I love you" was said, and it is such a big thing that I don't think it should be thrown around too easily. We have gradually grown to love one another. I think it's better than a sudden emotional rush - I've had that too, and it was hell! That flame burnt out just as quick as it was turned on and "love" turned to hate. I don't believe in "twin souls"; I believe two people may become twin souls for each other.
After two years - can you imagin? - we got engaged. One evening in the forest by the lake, a big rock as an altar and the Bible placed on it, we performed perfectly planned ritual - reading poems we had written for each other - and exchanged rings. Next morning we confirmed our commitment by partaking a communion. A priest was aware of our private celebration. It was deeply meaningful for both of us!
Since then we've gone through hard times and we have both made mistakes, but it all has strenghtened us! Nowadays in Finland same sex couples can register their relationships. We wait until we are able to arrange a party among friends and family. And that will also include a ceremonial blessing for our union. As engagement was just between the two of us, so will our wedding be a communal event.
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